Chapter 5

  THE SOUL & SELF-IDENTITY

In this Eternal Universe, there are two primordial states which constantly intermingle; one is alive and one is lifeless. God-Consciousness (intelligent light) as spirit and life-force is alive and the elemental matter of the universe is lifeless. God-Consciousness, without changing Its Essence, can become more conscious of consciousness, i.e. can become infinitely and diversely more conscious AS Its creative ideas, potentialities, and manifestations. God-Consciousness does this by integrating with the lifeless matter of the universe and giving it the appearance of being alive. All life forms in the universe are created in this image and likeness of life and matter intermingling in physical bodies, but humans are unique among all life forms because they are one with the “breath of life” in this intermingling of consciousness and matter – they are living souls.

The soul’s life is the Breath of God which breathes us every moment of our life; breathing is the active aspect of the soul, whereas the passive aspect of the soul bears the record of our past and present life experiences. Within the soul is the Divine “spark” of God-Consciousness as Light, Life and Love which also expresses through the human as the triune intelligence of knowing, thinking, and doing. At the highest level within our soul is the consciousness of our true, eternal Self-Identity and Self-Knowledge. This divine perfection is always within us; it is our divine Self. The reason we don’t fully experience it is because we obscure it by the imperfect way we think, live, and behave in life.

What differentiates humans from all other living bodies is that we are self-conscious beings, whereas, animals are conscious, but not self-conscious. Self-consciousness, as opposed to only being conscious, is an example of being more conscious of consciousness. The most unique quality of self-consciousness is that it has within it the potential to be God-conscious. When self-conscious light and life live in lifeless, elemental matter, the living soul becomes the means by which consciousness becomes more conscious of consciousness.

The experiences we have in life are retained upon the “super-refined” matter comprising the soul called essential-matter. Essential-matter is lifeless matter which has been imprinted by consciousness, but it does not reside in the physical realm because it is transitioning into intelligent light or higher consciousness; this is how the physical body is incrementally resurrected. (See: Conscious Resurrection) We humans are both matter and light, and our soul, as essential-matter, resides in the unseen plane between matter and light. As long as we reside in a physical body, our soul resides with us because we are that soul; the matrix of the soul is what gives the body life and definition.

The soul carries the sum total of our many life experiences into each new life we live as destiny. The soul is the divine matrix, a fixed configuration in each new life, which is expressed through the physical body giving it its form, characteristics, and present life experiences, including our manner of death. The souls of this universe are the living expression of God-consciousness, they are the reason for life; all of nature is an external, symbolic representation of the human body, and it is the collective breathing of humanity which creates the endless movement of cycles in nature, like: the tides, the seasons and the weather patterns of the Earth.

For each individual person, there is nothing more important than the care and well-being of one’s soul. The soul is altered in each life, for better or worse, by our thinking, words, and deeds. This is what Christ referred to as “reaping what we sow.” These deeds are our individual destiny which follows us from lifetime to lifetime; it is destiny which determines what kind of life experience we will have this time, but it is our reactions to these experiences that creates the new destiny that defines our next life. The veil of destiny we bring into each new life determines our: body, health, parents, temperaments, psychological nature, and mind. The integration of past destiny into our new life takes place beginning with conception, and then unfolds from birth to adulthood during the 4 stages of consciousness development called recapitulation. The goal of the teachings on this site is about spiritual liberation or Radiant Awakening, which is, freeing the soul from our past burdens of destiny by learning the lessons they represent, and learning the principles of right living so we do not create new destiny.  

Destiny and Psychology

In part, anthropology is the knowledge of how consciousness awakens and integrates into the human body and identifies with worldly experiences, but this awakening of the conscious self is also a key to Self-realization. Throughout our 2-3 decades of development and integration into the physical body, our “concept of self” is in a constant state of fluctuation and adaptation. (See: Perception) Even from infancy, humans are insatiably curious about the external world; infants continuously attempt to identify anything that moves across their field of vision. To the infant, the world of archaic consciousness it is viewing has no depth perception; it is a flat background of constantly moving, blurry forms that have no contextual meaning.

Consequently, the first thing humans identify with is their physical body; this begins to reveal some of the physiological destiny such as the temperaments and bodily constitution. The first couple of years are spent getting oriented to the motor skills of the body and the sensations of the senses. Eventually, as depth perception improves for the infant, some of these passing images become familiar, like mom and dad; and from experience, the infant learns about the third dimensional realm, gravity, and pleasure/pain.

As the infant begins to develop a rudimentary sense of identity, its experience in archaic consciousness is the beginning of the incremental stages of development into childhood. Although a young child has a basic sense of identity i.e. “me and not me,” its first real form of “identifying” is with the safe haven of family; in other words, it becomes one with the family. Children around the ages of 6-8 transition from archaic into what is referred to as the magical structure of consciousness. What this means is the characters and objects that played upon the “canvas of life” during infancy now come to life in the objective world. The world is seen through the eyes of magic, fantasy and innocence of a child with all the earth, stars, flowers, butterflies, and animals being filled with miraculous life, joy and wonder; this begins to reveal some of the psychic destiny such as character, disposition, endowments, and sentiments. In this awe-inspiring world, the child feels safe and secure, as long as he or she is safe and secure with their family; this identification with family lasts until adolescence.

Adolescence is the developmental stage in which we want to “shed the protective husk” of the family unit in order to identify with our peer group so we can discover and realize our own self-identity; this is the emergence of self-consciousness. This phase of consciousness is referred to as the mythical structure of consciousness. The elusive images of archaic consciousness “objectified” and came to life for the child in the magical structure of consciousness, so too, in the mythical consciousness, the people, places, and objects of the world are now coming to life infused with psychic meaning for the teenager.

Just as the characters in Greek mythology represented humanities awakening psychic states, so do the adolescent “characters” of one’s peer group represent emerging traits of the autonomous personality, which are required to form an independent self-image. This stage begins to reveal some of the mental destiny like intelligence, talents, and sexual identification; it is the emergence and initial establishment of the psychological nature. The adolescent self-image is a delicate, mutable, and sometimes, a hormonally volatile concept of self which continues to coalesce and develop into the early to mid-twenties.

Most people do not reach “adulthood,” which is the mental structure of consciousness, until their mid-twenties to early thirties. This stage of consciousness ushers in mental attributes of rational thinking, reasoning, integrity, character development, and hormonal stabilization needed to function in the complex and competitive work place environment. When one has finished school and moves into the “working world,” the self-image consolidates, matures and begins to strongly identify with the culture, people, and opportunities in the material world. This means we try to find people we can relate to, find work we are qualified to do, and find a pleasant environment in which to live; in other words, we try to find our “niche” in the world.

All through the developmental stages of our life, we are unconscious that we are transitioning physically, emotionally and mentally through structures of consciousness; we are unaware that destiny or past karma has “written the script” of our present lives. Even the adults in our life don’t understand what is happening; they describe the early developmental period simply as “growing up.” These stages of consciousness development – archaic, magical, mythical, and mental – are referred to as recapitulation, meaning that in this lifetime, we are being reintroduced to the structures of consciousness humans need in order to become self-conscious beings. Individual destiny and recapitulation are the dual forces which control this early configuration in each person’s life. Now, at the integration of the mental consciousness, the process of recapitulation and destiny are complete and the individual begins living life with a “clean slate.” Everything thought, word, and deed from this point forward creates new destiny. Noetic consciousness is experienced only if and when an individual awakens spiritually.

Self-Identity and Psychology

Throughout the 4 stages of development, self-identity of the individual is forced to constantly change and adapt to the unfolding circumstances in these different stages of the life experience. What compels humans to change is the “internal sense of homeostasis.” Homeostasis is an internal sense of equilibrium or satiation in our body, emotions, and mind. The infant feels homeostasis primarily in the instinctual nature of the body; it feels at peace until it is disturbed by hunger, startled, denied something it wants, or the body is uncomfortable. This primal, instinctual satiation of the body is the reality of life for the infant in the first six or so years, as the infant is not yet geared to consciously connect with its environment, that is, it is not capable of self-identifying with anything external to itself. Homeostasis, for the child identifying with his or her family in the magical stage, is recognized and felt in the harmony of relationships and in the peacefulness of the home environment.

However, underlying the obvious homeostasis needed by the infant and child, there is an unrecognized psychological phenomenon which imprints us for life during these first two stages of development – the establishment of trust. Infants don’t really comprehend individual relationships because they have not yet identified themselves as an individual. Infants just “see/feel/experience the world” as a whole, inclusive event, and they establish their “judgment of the world” from their experience with their parents and home environment. In other words, how infants are cared for, the amount and quality of attention they get, how they are loved, and the peace and harmony of the home environment establishes their level of “trust about life and the world-at-large.”

If the early experiences of life for the infant are chaotic, in isolation, with irregular feedings, and a lack of love, this individual will likely have to deal with insecurity issues and feelings of mistrust throughout life. This experience is deep-seated in the unconscious, and in stressful experiences, it will rise to the surface and be felt as insecurity in the solar plexus. This feeling of distrust is always in the background as it is a part of the shadow. In order to raise a psychologically balanced and trusting individual: infants need love and lots of attention; children need to play and to feel secure; and teens need discipline, character-developing guidance, and independence. The kinds of experiences we have in the developmental process are vitally important, as these experiences, in each stage, imprint us psychologically, for good or ill; nevertheless, these issues can be resolved through Stage 1 and Stage 2 meditation. This is one of the primary purposes of focused-breathing meditation – to resolve the issues of our past destiny, one level at a time, until we reach spiritual liberation.

In these developmental stages of life, we identified with our physical body, our family, our peer group, and finally, with the people and things of the material world, respectively. In each stage, the individual destiny imprinted upon the soul sets the course of our life, and establishes the challenges or life lessons we need for our soul’s growth. Everything for the human up to this point in life has been about identifying with our unfolding, transitioning states of consciousness. We begin existence in the human body and material world unconsciously trying to identify with: where we are, who we’re with, who we are, and where we’re going! By the time we reach adulthood, we are firmly grounded in objective reality, and completely identified with the ego-persona, our body, and the physical/material world.

The diagram below shows what that would look like if one’s consciousness was superficial, materialistic, unawakened, secular, and self-centered identifying exclusively with the objective world. There are many people in this world who are perfectly happy in this state because rather than seeking truth, they seek comfort; and as a way to avoid the “burden of time” called boredom, they keep themselves busy with work, hobbies, travel, sports and other such activities. There are also people who are perfectly happy in this world going to church on Sunday and living a good life; they are satisfied with being righteous and faithful people. 

The Illusion of the World

As stated at the beginning of this paper, there are primarily two states which are responsible for the infinite variety of life in the universe – God-Consciousness as spirit and life, and the lifeless matter of the elemental realm. Our body of lifeless elemental matter is experienced as being alive because it is animated and sustained by Consciousness as spirit and the power of life. In the spiritual teachings of most religions, especially in the East, the reality of this world is often referred to as an illusion. The reason for this reference to worldly life being an illusion is that the physical matter of the body is lifeless, but most people, unequivocally, believe the body is alive; when, in fact, it is temporarily animated by light, life-force, and spirit.

This is understandable considering the long process of integrating into the body through the structures of consciousness, and by the fact that humans come into this life experience to learn about consciousness. However, this illusion of life directs our self-identity into the sensual body to the point of “creating and sustaining” a false sense of self called the ego-persona. In the minds of people, the sensual body and ego-persona comprise their “concept” of who they are. So convinced are they of this reality that if someone were to tell them that they were living in an illusion, they would think this person was “delusional.”

The diagram above illustrates how identifying consciousness with the life-force of the physical body establishes a “field of physiological experience” which we encounter as the sensual energies of sexual desires, cravings, impulsive urges, delusions, primal fear and insecurity, to name a few. As explained in Stage 2 Meditation, this “sensual, physical reality” is experienced below the diaphragm, so the solar plexus becomes the “center” of experience for the human self; something few people realize.

In spiritual teachings, the solar plexus is considered as the “abdominal brain,” it is situated behind the "pit of the stomach" on either side of the spinal column. It is composed of white and gray brain matter, similar to the human brain. It is the central store-house of life-force or prana from which it controls and nourishes the main internal organs. The "solar center" of the body is an appropriate term as this "brain" radiates vital energy to all parts of the body, even the upper brain. This center is the “field of experience” for the instinctual drives of the animal body, the body-mind (intellect and experience through the senses), and the illusory ego-persona. This instinctual, rudimentary, illusory configuration of the conscious-self defines the kind of sensual, material experiences most people have in this life.

Duality

There are two ways in which the world can be perceived – through the sacred or through the profane. The diagram above illustrates the personal states of being in the profane world; consciousness is only awake to the objective world of third dimensional reality. If people do not believe in God, they have no sacredness in their lives to ward off the influences of darkness, desires, and delusions. Thus, the majority of experiences the individual has, come exclusively from the desires of the ego-persona as well as the appetites and longings of the body.

The satisfaction of these desires is achieved through the constant badgering of the “chattering” body-mind yakking in one’s head about all it desires from the world of duality, in the categories of: want/aversion, like/dislike, attraction/repulsion, good/bad, etc. This chattering of the ego-persona creates an array of emotions, excitement, fears, sorrows, grief, hatred, unwholesome thoughts, disappointment, addictive tendencies, anger, and sexual desires, all of which are the emanations of unsatisfied delusions.

For the godless secular people, if they do not get their way, they will revert to lying, deceit, slander, manipulation, wickedness, and greed in order to get what they want. This creates some very negative, dark and emotional life experiences as well as negative destiny for the soul which will have to be reconciled in the next life. How deep and dark a person’s transgressions are will determine how dark and troublesome their life experiences will be and what extreme life situations are necessary to neutralize their past errors.

In this world of duality, the opposite of spiritual energy is sexual energy and in this world, we cannot serve two masters. Excessive obsession regarding sexual desires is the greatest weight keeping one anchored to sensual reality. Energy is not created or destroyed, but one’s life-force is directed in one way or the other; consequently, life-force attached to and exhausted by sexual excesses creates the lowest form of life experience. Excessive focus on sexuality can produce a loss of vital energy, causing one to descend into: debauchery, lust, greed, arrogance, and wickedness which negatively imprints the soul.

The universal Law of Correspondence states, “As it is above so it is below, as it is below so it is above” which means that dark and negative energy, like: revenge, debauchery, lust, deceit, lies or whatever sins are imprinted upon one’s soul will be reflected and revealed in the person’s body, in their eyes, in their countenance, in the coarseness of their manners, in their ignorance of goodness, and even in the vile, noxious emanation of their smell; this is the “fragrance of their personality.” However, in this world, one’s “dark side” can be hidden behind “beauty, deceit and niceness” or what is referred to as the “glamor” of the persona; so don’t judge by appearance, but look deeper until one’s true beingness is recognized. 

Everyone chooses their individual life experience by their daily choices, and thus, creates the conditions for their physical form and the conditions in which he or she will live; this is all determined by the records of their thoughts, words, and actions that are imprinted on the soul. The essential-energy of the soul is “in this world, but not of this world;” our worldly thoughts, words, and deeds are of this world and integrate with the soul like a “karmic sheath” or a “veil of destiny” which continues with the soul from lifetime to lifetime until we are capable of dissolving or neutralizing it with the light and love of Christ consciousness emanating from within our being, inspiring us to live a good life.

Some people, through their belief in God, bring a level of sacredness to their illusory experience, which incrementally, brings them out of the darkness. The effectiveness of religious belief (dogma) against the darkness and sin of this illusory world depends upon the depth of their faith to reach their desired level of “spiritual homeostasis.” Religious belief temporarily “sanitizes” the ego-persona of the darkness, but it does nothing about the personal shadow or about removing people from the illusion of this world with which they deeply identify. (See: Ego and Religion)

In fact, if the truth be known, some people believe more strongly about the “reality of their illusory life” than they do about the possibility of being spiritually awakened from it. Nevertheless, Christians consistently persist in living a good life, developing their character and values, and believing deeply in the way of life Jesus Christ taught us. Most Christians believe that heaven can only be attained following death, and without a doubt, heaven will be experienced after death for those faithful Christians.

However, spiritual Christians prefer to prepare their body, mind, soul and spirit to receive the light, life, and love of Christ here and now. Consistent, spiritual homeostasis, in the present moment, is one of the goals that can be achieved through meditation and right living. If people practice focused-breathing meditation, they can awaken from the illusion and be spiritually liberated from the “world of mammon.” To do so, they have to consciously take responsibility for their own lives and follow the spiritual disciplines explained in the previous chapter in order to be free. As the “glamour” and delusion of the material world is relinquished, the sacredness of the spiritual world begins to be revealed as the radiance within awakens.

Spiritual Practices

The 7 spiritual disciplines discussed in Chapter 4 are time-tested restraints on our lower human nature which guide the individual through the unfolding stages of awakening the spiritual nature. In order to arrive at the ultimate truth we have to analyze and make distinctions within our personal self, distinctions: between higher consciousness and the body-mind; between ego and personality; between feeling and desire; between our higher Self-identity and the ego-mind; and between our personal shadow and evil. To make these internal distinctions is self-evaluation and the awakening of discernment; this is the starting-point of the journey towards self-realization.

Discernment cannot function unless both the desirable and the undesirable aspects of our being are actually present before us. Discernment chooses those things in life which are desirable and beneficial to spiritual growth, and renounces those things which hinder our advancement. Discernment and renunciation reveals to us the value of moral discipline and guides us toward a virtuous life. The disciple of Christ prefers to live in the world of the spirit and virtue. The luminescence of a virtuous consciousness becomes so inspirational that we do not want to revert back to the darkness of the empirical world we are leaving behind.

In past ages, qualified disciples entered schools of initiation and were compelled by the community of devotees to follow the mandatory standards for living a disciplined life of renunciation and transformation. Religious communities and spiritual support groups are very helpful, but in the end, we must take responsibility for our own internal life; to discipline and prepare ourselves, we must be willing to lay our life on the altar, to become one with the will of God, and to do whatever it takes to receive the Light of Christ. The 7 disciplines (self-evaluation, self-responsibility, self-discernment, self-renunciation, self-discipline, self-restraint, and self-exertion) are the tools we need to alter our being/soul (See: Being and Soul) so we can “crucify, transform, and resurrect our conscious-self.” These are the disciplines which lead to perfection; in this case, perfection means the gradual transformation of our human personality.

When we are born into this life, our soul, its beingness, and our personality emanate from within the physical body we occupy. The pure, pristine, and uncorrupted personality is even present in a newborn; ego is not present because we have not created an “identity” with the body. In this newly unfolding life, our past actions have configured and created our present destiny; this destiny determines the conditions, favorable and unfavorable, we will experience. The uniqueness of an individual’s destiny, includes: who we have as parents and their hereditary traits; the health, wholeness, and condition of the physical body; the traits impressed upon us from the geographical location we are born into; the influences on the personality from the culture and society in which we live; the psychological traits we form from the influences of our social environment; and our total makeup also includes our personal unconscious content, our shadow self. (See: The Shadow Self)

To clarify how the personality is related to our soul and beingness, here is an analogy for the configuration of the human/spiritual being… prior to the emergence of ego, our human personality is like the “fragrance” of this particular life – it is transitory and insubstantial; our individual beingness is the “flower” from which the fragrance emanates – it is substantial and its unique characteristics and attributes determine the fragrance of the flower; the soul is the “plant” from which the flower of our individual beingness blooms – it is the source or matrix which defines our “flowering plant” in each new life. In sum, our personality is the emanation of our beingness, and our beingness is the emanation of our soul. When the ego emerges in adolescence, it alters our beingness, for better or worse, and this will alter the “fragrance” of our personality.

All of the conditions, attributes, and characteristics described in our destiny integrate into our beingness as we grow up through childhood, adolescence and into adulthood. By the time we are adults our destiny is fully integrated and manifested into our being and personality. The ego makes its appearance in the adolescent years as we begin to form our self-image and distinct individuality; in the process of forming, the ego integrates and dominates the personality. Essentially, the ego-persona takes over our lives from this point forward, setting out a totally self-centered agenda, whereby, the ego chatters non-stop in our head about what it wants, what it thinks, what is dislikes, and how it wants everything in life to be.

Although we understand the origin of personality as the passive “fragrance” of our being/soul, the ego-persona which now dominates our life, is something altogether different to deal with. The ego is a false “sense of self” which, unbeknownst to us, incorporates itself into our body-mind and personality. The ego’s sense of identity becomes its “self-image” which revolves around the desires of our body/body-mind, emotions, intellect, and personality – this “illusory image of self” is who we think we are. Only when people can awaken from this “illusory and enticing deception” of the world, can they awaken spiritually to who they really are and to what life and the world truly are through the eyes of an awakened being/soul. These writings are intended to provide knowledge and insight about the path of awakening, and how to traverse the path; but it takes a huge desire or desperation as well as patience and determination to muster the necessary will to awaken oneself. 

To really understand the ego-persona, its selfish deceptions, desires, and ignorance, we have to consciously connect with the Observer within – our conscious, present attention, here and now – so we at least awaken to who we truly are, as opposed to who the ego-persona wants us to believe we are. In spiritual practice, we have to consciously identify and recognize the various traits which comprise and define our personality sometimes referred to as our psycho-cognitive being. The psycho-cognitive ego-persona “bears the burden” of our being as it acts as “spokesman” for our total, multi-faceted nature; it runs the show as “commander-in-chief” of our lives.

The ego-persona influences every aspect of our physical, emotional, and mental nature; it stirs up our desires, anxieties, fears, and insecurities as it makes critical decisions in life as it pursues satisfaction for its many desires, appetites, and preferences in life. We unconsciously support and participate in this “self-centered agenda” since we think we are the ego-persona and we also want “to have our way” about everything. It will be this way for the majority of humanity until our “deep-within, knowing self – the Observer” and soul have the desire and will to awaken. Stage 1 meditation teaches the body and ego to be quiet and still, preparing one for the journey ahead.

Eventually, the disciplined, humbled ego-persona stops “its resistance” and serves the higher interests of our true Self (you, the awakened, conscious presence of self as separate from ego), rather than dominating our life and acting and behaving in a “psychologically-challenged” manner when it does not get its way. If we want for things in life to “go our way,” we have to “die to the world” and like a butterfly emerging from the cocoon, we have to rise to a higher level of life experience.

The self-discipline required to “rise up” is not something our body/body-mind and ego are interested in doing; the ego feels threatened by our “wanting to take control” of our lives. The ego and body-mind are the prime cause for our psychological and emotional imbalances, insecurities, insensitivities, and misfortunes, etc. The unawakened ego is only capable of functioning using the intellect, the emotions, the senses, and the body-mind to make its way in the world; and it only serves itself. In the initial stages of awakening, this means taking control of all aspects of our lives and fighting the ego until it follows our agenda in life and not its own.

Radiant Awakening

The “hunger and thirst” for righteousness and truth that Jesus spoke of (Matt 5:6) is motivated by the desire to follow the path which leads to the optimal unfolding of our consciousness. The 7 disciplines of spiritual practice minimize the worldly obstructions, like the “chattering mind,” and increase our ability to intuitively choose from the innumerable alternatives of daily life the one optimal action that opens new and expansive levels of understanding within. This intuitive ability to find the path to inner growth comes from the stillness and insight we achieve in meditation, which awakens our intuitive perception and draws us to the Light. This requires that we keep the mind quiet, let go and let God, and have faith that the Christ Light is healing and making us wholy.

Spiritual knowledge helps us to recognize and understand this unfolding awareness of consciousness that causes our potential abilities to become reality. Knowledge gives us a hint of where we’re going, but knowledge alone does not provide the actual experience of working with consciousness. Understanding spiritual knowledge is like having someone explain to us how to wrestle; the struggle only becomes a reality when we get on the mat. (See: Jacob’s wrestling in Genesis 32:25-8) In the case of spiritual awakening, meditation is the equivalent of actually wrestling. Beginning meditation reveals the actual experience of how unruly the mind is and how hard it is to redirect it, but it will also give one a glimpse of the divine light within. Those who are serious about their spiritual development need to practice focused-breathing meditation twice a day.

Our desire for truth is a natural and inherent impulse, quality or characteristic of consciousness to know itself. Connecting internally with the desire to awaken spiritually is vitally important in order to consistently feel the inspiration which directs us to the path of optimal growth. Spiritual growth and inspiration enables us to spontaneously and unerringly choose only those actions which advance us toward an ever widening self-perception, as well as toward the realization of the immense potential which lies dormant within. Intuitive insight enables us to identify and avoid flawed, misleading, and unnecessary information from our path. Keeping our “eye single” upon the path of spiritual awakening is essential for the development that inevitably leads to spiritual liberation or radiant awakening in the Light of Christ.

 

GLO-O-O-O-O-O-O-ORIA!

I did not think it possible for me to grow, for I am hard and strong.
Then, in a grandly opening moment, the sun turned me like a note of song.
Something about a new world shining, just there beyond the boundary of my eye,
And, Hallelujah, Good Lord Almighty, I am finally alive.
I will admit my head is full of whirring sound and flashing light,
And I have never ever seen the color of blue become so clear and bright.
Also, the wind keeps telling me, when I am weakest, I will be strong,
And then I’m gonna fly to heaven like a happy note of song.
There my heart and soul will sing, for the best is yet to come,
And I will live forever in the kingdom of the sun.

Poems by My Wife